My time in the CCM was something I cannot accurately explain… but in short, it was AMAZING! I loved the fellow missionaries in my district, and felt that we all shared an intense desire to serve the Lord. The sacred duty of our calling was humbling, and the spirit of the Lord filled our hearts, overflowing into our actions. While I was only in the training stages, I knew that what we were learning to teach others was a wonderful and simple message of help, hope, and happiness. With every passing day, Spanish became harder to speak, but the spirit of love was easier to feel. I was in an environment where, completely uninterrupted, I could search the scriptures diligently for answers both my investigators and I were seeking. I learned how to pray to my Father in Heaven in a way that seemed to bring Him into the room with me. For the first time in my life, I embraced the pure joy that comes from living the gospel of Jesus Christ and having the Holy Spirit as a constant and active companion. I would not trade my experience as a missionary for anything in the world… except maybe for a little more time as one.
After only a month, I was sent home with a medical release after rupturing my ACL in my right knee. I hurt myself after two weeks into my training (playing soccer…no comment), but I spent the following two weeks unaware of the severity of my injury. Wanting to continue my daily duties in the CCM, I did the best I could to keep up with my district. Other than very limited mobility and a fair amount of pain, I pulled my weight and continued to learn and practice teaching. With crutches and an ice pack, I attended all of my classes and continued my training. The time came for my doctor’s appointment in which I would receive the MRI results of my knee; the doctor spoke only Spanish, but I knew instantly from the look on my companion’s face that the doctor was the bearer of some very bad news. During that visit, I learned I would need to return to the States and undergo reconstruction surgery for a torn ACL. Two days later, I was on a plane headed home, defeated and discouraged.
On March 12th, 2015 I had surgery. (The same day that my missionary friends finished their MTC training and headed to their individual mission fields..) Afterwards, I was informed that the doctor also discovered a tear in both of my meniscus, so he repaired those. This diagnosis went undetected at my doctor’s visit in Peru, and it would add another month to my total healing time. As soon as I was cleared to walk again, I hit the rehab hard with an aggressive Physical Therapy program to re-learn the simple mechanics of walking and using my leg. After heat and cold therapy, massage, and painful exercise routines, the recovery continued.
Now, at this point... I was kinda thinking about lots of the sucky things that were happening. But amazingly, how great is the wisdom and the love of the One who knows all? In this process, detour, change of plans, whatever you want to call it, I ended up being home for countless blessings and tender mercies I would have otherwise missed.
I read 8 books, went on 3 road trips, and had my 21st birthday. SIX of my college friends tied the knot, and another two got engaged. I helped plan and execute a bridal shower, baby shower, and a wedding reception. All of my siblings came to California for a family reunion, bringing all of us together for the first time in years. We remodeled our workout room, cleaned out our upstairs apartment, and completely organized every drawer and cupboard in our house. (That in itself was a big deal..) On the other side of the spectrum, I attended two different funerals, one of a friend who died of cancer, and another of a 6 month old baby with heart failure. Friendships weakened and relationships changed. I met a guy... I fell in love. Then, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to leave and potentially never see him again.
Coming home and pausing my missionary service was...hard. Being home and feeling discouraged, lost, and out of place?... even harder. BUT if there is one thing that this challenge has taught me, it is that Heavenly Father will work ALL things together for our good. The Savior said, “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not”(D&C 6:36). I have seen the Lord’s hand directing my life, showing me His ways, helping me to stay strong. The frustration, disappointments, and adjustments that came with this trial have been humbling; and if anything, have only confirmed to me that I am not alone. I know that the Lord is with me, and have come to know Him in a way that would not have been possible had I not had this experience. My trial of a painful injury and an unexpected summer at home became a wonderful blessing in disguise. A blessing that has humbled me, guided me, and brought me to my knees; and consequently, closer to my Savior. I have learned with an increased understanding that faith in the Lord includes faith in His timing… and the humility to accept it.
I feel so blessed for my time spent in the CCM. The lessons I learned, skills I developed, and spirit I felt were nothing short of incredible. I also feel SO blessed for my time spent at home. I have seen the hand of God in my life directing me in ways I would have never seen before. I know that the Lord is in charge of my life, and if I let Him, He can and will use these experiences to shape and mold my life into the destiny He has designed for me. I want to help others feel what I have now experienced firsthand:
we are known, and we are loved. GOD IS REAL. His church, His teachings, and His authority has been restored on the earth to bring us the fullness of Joy that He has in store. For the next year and a half, that is the message I will be sharing as a missionary for Jesus Christ in Bolivia.
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