A Change in Plans

As I sit down {back at home} to write about my fun lil Change in Plans… There are kiiiind of a lot of emotions running in circles in dat brain of mine. If you're looking to exercise your empathy, or you are just curious, I'm going to try to explain my feelings about my current si-chew-aye-shun.* *"situation" for all you non-MadGab players*

Disclaimer: I've never been too good at explaining emotion… I would much rather just sweat it out with a nice long, fast run or intense workout circuit and loud music. But that's not exactly an option for me as of late, so I figured the next best option would be this: 

Identify, Accept, and Address my "feels." 

*cringes at the thought*

Wish me luck…
it might be therapeutic and also a little messy, but I'm sure we'll both come out on top.

You've been warned.

I am sure you've heard by now (if you haven't, this could be awkward) … it took me my whole athletic life to go without any major injury. Then, 2 weeks into my mission I played 5 minutes too long and half a second too rough in a --pickup-- soccer game at the MTC and… 

major injury.

Final verdict: complete rupture of my ACL and torn Medial Meniscus in my right knee. 

:D 

(tilt your head sideways mom, it's a smiley face)

^the sarcasm of that smiley face is actually oozing out of my ears right now. I am currently at home in California… currently bored, bummed out, and severely out of place. Luckily, surgery is soon(ish) --March 12-- and then its on the fast track (4-6 months) to rehab and recovery so I can get back out to the mission field!!!

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I am a very logical person --I've always been a "why" child--- so with that in mind, it was natural, even expected of me to question why. 

Why did this happen? 

I mean, other than as a result of me trying to do a bicycle kick to score the winning goal…

Why now all of the sudden?

4 back to back sports 4 years in a row in HS, then 2 years of collegiate track at BYU without ANY injury…

Why me of all people?

On the Lord's time, following His call to serve… I'm doing everything right!

Well, I am still a very logical person and I still want to have answers… 
but I have decided to ask a similar, but at the same time very different question.

Why not?

Why shouldn't this happen? Why not now all of the sudden? Why not me?

I mean, sure… 

if I hadn't torn my ACL, I would have been {thoroughly} enjoying my last week of language and gospel training in Peru with some of the most incredible friends and fellow missionaries in the world, and would soon be headed off to Bolivia to share the message of Jesus Christ.

if I hadn't torn my ACL, I would not have to rethink my plans for the next six months of my life post-surgery, or sit at home {alone} with limited walking ability while everyone continues on with their normal, uninterrupted lives.

BUT

if I hadn't torn my ACL and meniscus, and bruised both my Femur and Tibia bones from the impact, I would not be experiencing "A-Z" of what has come about because of my injury… things that either I or someone else needs in this very moment of my life.

Sooooo, here's a neither comprehensive nor cohesive (but hopefully creative) list of 

events, reasons, or lessons learned that have/will come about in the next 6 months.

A-ask for increased perspective. 

B-be positive and optimistic about all things in life

C-crack jokes with my mom and dad over the dinner table

D-dip bananas in PEANUT BUTTER you can only find in the states

E-eat new recipes my mom was waiting to try with me

F-fix up an at-home workout gym in our house

G-grab a few extra hugs from my dad throughout the day

H-help my parents with their math homework

I-increase my internet-savvyness as I build up my blog

J-joke around with my new Physical Therapy friends

K-keep the lessons I learned at the MTC and applying them at home

L-love Dad's homemade breakfasts

M-make faces at the crying baby in the store to make him smile

N-never letting the negativity of the situation stick around 

O-open my mouth about the Gospel, and inviting people to ASK

P-pray for guidance, gratitude, and patience in all things

Q-quit feeling bad for myself

R-reach out to old friends, new acquaintances, and fellow humans

S-show everyone the joy of Christlike love and relationship

T-take 5(months) to reflect on the blessings

U-understand that positivity and progress is the purpose

V-valiently strive to be an example and follower of Jesus

W-work to grow even amidst setbacks

X-x-ray… at least I didn't get one of those!

Y-yogurt (in healthy or frozen form) is available in surplus

Z-zzzzzzzz. we all need a little more sleep don't we?

Okay, thats 26 things that are easily direct results of tearing my ACL and coming home. I don't blame you if you skimmed the list, but here's a quiz just to make sure you understand my point.

The blessings and opportunities that I have seen from this injury already are 
too many to count.

Really, the whole process has been incredible. (increíble!)

I've been blessed with a very calm reassurance from God that HE is in charge here. 
I have a firm belief in knowing there is a reason for why this happened to me at this very specific point in time. I am anxiously waiting to be recovered, but also feel very calm and reassured about there truly being a purpose for EVERYTHING that happens.

Sinceremente, 

Thank you to everyone who has sent support, encouragement, and prayers my way. 
(and for reading my blog posts!) I am so grateful for the chance I had to go to Peru, study spanish, learn the gospel, and love the people around me with a level of sincerity that I've never quite experienced. I am also grateful for this chance to be home, apply what I've learned, and seek to come even closer to my Savior as He is the one who carries me.

"she is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." 

-Proverbs 31:25