Re·joice (Rəˈjois) : Get Over It: The Driver is in Control

… it's been 6 weeks since my ACL/2x Meniscus Surgery…

And I'm finally WALKING!

Recovery has been great, and everything seems to be on track.
Mr. Doctor said I have 6 more weeks then I can begin j o g g i n g and increasing the intensity of my workouts. The first week of June I am scheduled for another follow up, where hopefully we can start the process of getting cleared to go back out on my mission! (As of now, we're not exactly sure what that process is… But it involves medical clearance and the O.K from church leaders). Still no soccer, but I think I'll be okay with that ;)

The initial shock, frustration, and downright lameness of having to come home has worn off {i think}. Next, enter "So, Now What?" phase. Every day I went from the bed to the couch to the computer to the couch then back to the bed. There was also some laying on the floor staring at the ceiling until my eyes glazed over.

You may be thinking "Omgh that sounds like a dream to just do nothing all day…everyday…with a few days more of nothing…" but it wasn't.

Okay, I'm dramatic…

Really, I had plenty of things I could do that substantially added to my bed-to-couch-to-bed routine. Reading books, watching shows, playing the piano… So, what the heck had my panties in a wad?
----------------> I am a very independent, driven, forward-focusing person.
Oh, and I like being in control. <--------------------

Just ask my mom about my 3 year old self asking to switch parent/child roles with her so that I could be in charge instead of her... But, when I tore my ACL--ironically trying to take control, this time in a soccer game-- everything changed. The past six weeks, I have felt completely… Dependent. Unmotivated. Dwelling on the Past. Out of control. Complete opposites of how I've always lived my life, everything I've identified myself with.

Can anyone say mid-life crisis?

{Minus the mid-life, but add the drama}

Gaaaaaah! It's HARD to give up control. It's HARD to accept that sometimes there is nothing I can do. And, it's REALLY HARD to admit that I don't understand everything. {namely, why certain things happen, for example} It's been painful, embarrassing, and all sorts of lame… But it's also been "good". I have a feeling that these shenanigans are going to be preeeety beneficial to my growth, and ultimately, my life. *sighs*

Because here's what I've decided to do about the hard stuff, lame stuff, and the stuff I can't control:

Get over it.

In the wonderful words of the beloved Disney Princess Elsa… Let it go!

Cuz in reality, aka life, there is only so much we can control. What I thought I had planned isn't turning out quite the way I hoped… Get over it.

If you are someone like me who tends to base your entire existence on the "control" factor, it can be pretty eye opening when you realize… God doesn't work that way. Our purpose isn't to figure everything out, then carry out our life according to our plan… we are here on this planet to try, make mistakes, and recognize the Master's Hand throughout the journey. He is in control.

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Story time:
{I call it, the "Drive of Life" hehe}

We are the backseat driver. We think we know exactly where to go and how we should get there, and we have a lot of things to say to the Driver.
"Turn Left!"…

"Jeez, why are you driving so slow?"…

"I don't see the point of stopping here… can we get on with it?"

Occasionally, the Driver will let us make the decision--because as the backseat driver we obviously know best--but sometimes, the Driver will completely ignore our suggestion and instead take a turn He has chosen. We may be confused and/or frustrated at this new change in course... we can't see how the Driver's turn could possibly make sense. (We're backseat drivers, we know everything!) Except, the Driver has not forgotten our end destination. The Driver has the map… He's been there, He knows what he's doing.

Sooooo moral of the story, let's not be the backseat driver. Maybe we don't know exactly where we are going, or why we made that pit stop… but get over it, will ya?
We aren't in control… The Driver is.

Yeah, I can't do a lot of things right now. And I guess you could say I made a little "pit stop" in my life with this whole injury thing. But while still trying to read the map and figure out where to go, I've decided to not stress too much... I'm letting My Driver take control.

Allow God to be the Driver of your life.

He has our life in His Hands, so let's have faith that He knows where He wants us to be,

and He will help us get there.

Once you can do that, simply sit back and enjoy the ride. ;)

Part of that "not stressing" involved a quick weekend road-trip with my daddy-o to Utah! Complete with Spanish church audios, reading and acting out my sci-fi fiction novel, and singing our hearts out to Kelly Clarkson. Definitely a road-trip to remember :)