A Change in Plans

As I sit down {back at home} to write about my fun lil Change in Plans… There are kiiiind of a lot of emotions running in circles in dat brain of mine. If you're looking to exercise your empathy, or you are just curious, I'm going to try to explain my feelings about my current si-chew-aye-shun.* *"situation" for all you non-MadGab players*

Disclaimer: I've never been too good at explaining emotion… I would much rather just sweat it out with a nice long, fast run or intense workout circuit and loud music. But that's not exactly an option for me as of late, so I figured the next best option would be this: 

Identify, Accept, and Address my "feels." 

*cringes at the thought*

Wish me luck…
it might be therapeutic and also a little messy, but I'm sure we'll both come out on top.

You've been warned.

I am sure you've heard by now (if you haven't, this could be awkward) … it took me my whole athletic life to go without any major injury. Then, 2 weeks into my mission I played 5 minutes too long and half a second too rough in a --pickup-- soccer game at the MTC and… 

major injury.

Final verdict: complete rupture of my ACL and torn Medial Meniscus in my right knee. 

:D 

(tilt your head sideways mom, it's a smiley face)

^the sarcasm of that smiley face is actually oozing out of my ears right now. I am currently at home in California… currently bored, bummed out, and severely out of place. Luckily, surgery is soon(ish) --March 12-- and then its on the fast track (4-6 months) to rehab and recovery so I can get back out to the mission field!!!

---------------------------------------------------------

I am a very logical person --I've always been a "why" child--- so with that in mind, it was natural, even expected of me to question why. 

Why did this happen? 

I mean, other than as a result of me trying to do a bicycle kick to score the winning goal…

Why now all of the sudden?

4 back to back sports 4 years in a row in HS, then 2 years of collegiate track at BYU without ANY injury…

Why me of all people?

On the Lord's time, following His call to serve… I'm doing everything right!

Well, I am still a very logical person and I still want to have answers… 
but I have decided to ask a similar, but at the same time very different question.

Why not?

Why shouldn't this happen? Why not now all of the sudden? Why not me?

I mean, sure… 

if I hadn't torn my ACL, I would have been {thoroughly} enjoying my last week of language and gospel training in Peru with some of the most incredible friends and fellow missionaries in the world, and would soon be headed off to Bolivia to share the message of Jesus Christ.

if I hadn't torn my ACL, I would not have to rethink my plans for the next six months of my life post-surgery, or sit at home {alone} with limited walking ability while everyone continues on with their normal, uninterrupted lives.

BUT

if I hadn't torn my ACL and meniscus, and bruised both my Femur and Tibia bones from the impact, I would not be experiencing "A-Z" of what has come about because of my injury… things that either I or someone else needs in this very moment of my life.

Sooooo, here's a neither comprehensive nor cohesive (but hopefully creative) list of 

events, reasons, or lessons learned that have/will come about in the next 6 months.

A-ask for increased perspective. 

B-be positive and optimistic about all things in life

C-crack jokes with my mom and dad over the dinner table

D-dip bananas in PEANUT BUTTER you can only find in the states

E-eat new recipes my mom was waiting to try with me

F-fix up an at-home workout gym in our house

G-grab a few extra hugs from my dad throughout the day

H-help my parents with their math homework

I-increase my internet-savvyness as I build up my blog

J-joke around with my new Physical Therapy friends

K-keep the lessons I learned at the MTC and applying them at home

L-love Dad's homemade breakfasts

M-make faces at the crying baby in the store to make him smile

N-never letting the negativity of the situation stick around 

O-open my mouth about the Gospel, and inviting people to ASK

P-pray for guidance, gratitude, and patience in all things

Q-quit feeling bad for myself

R-reach out to old friends, new acquaintances, and fellow humans

S-show everyone the joy of Christlike love and relationship

T-take 5(months) to reflect on the blessings

U-understand that positivity and progress is the purpose

V-valiently strive to be an example and follower of Jesus

W-work to grow even amidst setbacks

X-x-ray… at least I didn't get one of those!

Y-yogurt (in healthy or frozen form) is available in surplus

Z-zzzzzzzz. we all need a little more sleep don't we?

Okay, thats 26 things that are easily direct results of tearing my ACL and coming home. I don't blame you if you skimmed the list, but here's a quiz just to make sure you understand my point.

The blessings and opportunities that I have seen from this injury already are 
too many to count.

Really, the whole process has been incredible. (increíble!)

I've been blessed with a very calm reassurance from God that HE is in charge here. 
I have a firm belief in knowing there is a reason for why this happened to me at this very specific point in time. I am anxiously waiting to be recovered, but also feel very calm and reassured about there truly being a purpose for EVERYTHING that happens.

Sinceremente, 

Thank you to everyone who has sent support, encouragement, and prayers my way. 
(and for reading my blog posts!) I am so grateful for the chance I had to go to Peru, study spanish, learn the gospel, and love the people around me with a level of sincerity that I've never quite experienced. I am also grateful for this chance to be home, apply what I've learned, and seek to come even closer to my Savior as He is the one who carries me.

"she is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." 

-Proverbs 31:25

Loomis to Lima… and Back

Welp, hello! Week 4 was definitely one full of adventures, spontaneaty (sp?), and lots of emotions. AKA I have had more ice cream this past week than I think Ive ever had in my life... and Ive also recieved hugs and sentiments from missionaries, teachers, and cafeteria workers alike, some of whom Ive never met but wanted to wish me well.


---------the suspense is building--------


Remember way back when (week 1) I told you that I loved playing soccer here at the CCM because the latinos play and think im a stud Hermana, and all the North Americans just have a blast? Then remember the next week (week 2) I told yall that I was playing soccer and slightly tweaked my knee... The following week I enjoyed nice long walks to and from the doctors office and worked on my tricep muscles while walking through the hallways... on crutches. Over time I was able to put more weight on my knee, as well as increase the mobility of it, so things were looking good! I was more than frustrated, however, when the doctor would check out my knee and fail to give me any clear diagnostic or anything. Week three was in motion, and the doc suggested I go to the "local" hospital

(45min away without traffic) 

and get an MRI to see if we can discover the issue.

So, I did.

Results came on Monday (the 22nd) ... and this time tomorrow I will be on a flight back home to California. I am coming home to have surgery on a completely ruptered ACL in my right knee.

The competition level obviously was a little too real playing fútbol... 

Can you see where the emotions, spontaneous change of plans, and "adventures" come in? Stay tuned for the updates... Once I sign off of the computer I am headed back up to my room to pack my bags. I leave the CCM at 9:30pm tonight, right after my District and I have the best send-off goodbye ever!! :) #peruknowshowtoparty #icecreamanyone?

Thank you for all of the support and prayers since I have been here. The love I have felt has been incredible. I really cant describe how I am feeling...at all... but one thing I CAN describe is the reality of my relationship with God. I have complete faith that everything happens for a reason... cliché and all. I am BEYOND sad to leave my district family here at the CCM and wouldnt wish this on anybody... but I know that my life is in the Lords hands. He knows me, He knows what I need, and He knows what will happen.

(i guess if I have to go home, these are the studs I'd want to spend my last day here with!)

Heres to a quick recovery so I can head back out into the mission field as soon as possible! :)

LOVE YOU ALL, thank you for the prayers. 

Loomis peeps, I guess I will be seeing you soon.

XOXO
HNA Simmons

Week 3 Homies

(we definitely are all wearing the same skirt, just in a different color. Definitely planned ;) )

On a scale of 1 to s l o w, this week has been slower than cooling lava. Seemingly painless and uneventful, but still some hot-to-the-touch tendencies. --okay, if youre lost right now, its fine... I am too. #analogyfail Basically, nothing major to report. 

Other than the fact that playing ping-pong and doing sit-ups has become my normal passtime during physical activity. Last week I casually dropped the news that I got in a fight with my knee playing soccer. I lost. It is still giving me the silent treatment, as it refuses to cooperate with me and do what I want... so Ive done a lot of sitting and spectating. Oh, and ice/elevation. The ice pack is more of a lukewarm bag of water, but hey. Placebo effect?
MRI appointment for me this friday at 2pm. I am going with Presidente and HNA Gonzalez, we are just gunna make a date of it ;)

My ping-póng skills arent the only ones improving...my spanish is too! Serving in the spanish branch with Dad in the presidency way back when has seriously made ALL the difference in the world. Not kidding. All those years of fighting spanish and being frustrated with driving all the way out there, I was being immersed in latino culture and gospel spanish... two major things that are a huge advantage over the high-school spanish takers here. All those years of spanish sacrament meetings and fiestas really have helped me to me more comfortable and relaxed, because the language and accent is familiar. My grammer is not perfect (no where near actually) but because I am not worried about the language so much, it has really allowed me to search more deeply into what I am teaching and listen to understand what my investigators need.

Speaking of... we have two "investigators" right now... they are our district teachers that play a scripted background story and we teach them accordingly. Having the opportunity to practice, even if and when we dont know how to say much is really cool! The stories come to life, and I can already see why RMs say they truly love their investigators. They are real people, with real needs...and our goal is to invite them to learn how our message of Salvation can help them :)

Last lil spiritual note before I sign off (if youre still reading keep it up) ... this was the BEST part of the week by far:

-I memorized the baptismal commitment earlier in the week, and just yesterday we were teaching our progressing investigator. We had taught her the plan of Salvation and was closing our lesson of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Gospel is centered around 5 major points: Faith in Jesus and His Atonement, Repenting of your sins and acknowledging our Savior, being Baptized into His church as a symbol or turning your life and will to God, and recieving the Holy Ghost as a constant companion to help you with life decisions and encourage you to perserverar hasta el fin (endure to the end). I had the memorized baptismal invitation in my back pocket to use if needed, but it wasnt in our lesson plan at all. Until I testified of the incredible blessing of being able to repent and try again in every aspect of our lives, because we have a loving Savior who has payed the ultimate price. After explaining that Christ came to this Earth to teach his Gospel and show us how to live by His example, I immediately got butterflies in my stomach. I testified of following Christs example to better our lives, then I looked at my investigator--my teacher in disguise, but thats not how I saw her-- and said these words:

Kathleen, ¿Seguirá el ejemplo de Jesucristo a ser bautizado por algiuen que posea la autoridad del sacerdocio de Dios?

YOU GUYS.

THE SPIRIT!!!!!! it was a tangible wave that literally slammed me in the face and got stuck in my throat. hit me so hard my eyes started to water…
okay, it was a little more gentle than that, but OH. MY. GOSH.

it was the most real experience I have ever had... she wasnt a real investigator, but in that lesson we knew that we had prepared with the spirit so when it came time to teach, I saw her as a person to be helped and loved, not a lesson to be recited. Man, it was definitely the greatest part of the week, so yep. :)

Please say a teensy eensy prayer for me on Friday while I head to the doctor... Apparently the hospital is really nice and in a safe part of the city, the american doctors approve.

So, dont worry mom :)

LOVE YOU ALL!

"Siempre"

The hype is calming down, my body is adjusting to the schedule, and I am officially able to carry on a (basic) conversation in Spanish! Only about simple gospel truths though... we pretty much learn all of our grammar through gospel lessons and phrases.

GUYS. Here are some things that always --siempre-- happen here at the CCM:

-SIEMPRE Teaching. Its super scary at first because we dont know the language...and its frustrating when you cant figure out how to say what you want to say. You just end up bearing your testimony or asking to sing a hymn and then it all works out :)


-SIEMPRE Study. When youre not teaching, youre studying to prepare for teaching. Studying includes our challenge to read 6 chapters in the BoM diariamente (to finish before we leave) in addition to reading Preach my Gospel in two languages, and our 3 Missionary Language Manuals. Luckily, we have district classrooms where we can keep all of our stuff together... but trying to study outside is like trying to carry your whole life in two hands. And then...if you or your companion forgets something\has to pee\needs water\anything... PAUSE everything and go with them everywhere. Yall know how patient and willing I am when interrupted ;)

-SIEMPRE Sueño. Cansado. Tired. My body has adjusted to the early morning wake up call, but lately Ive been waking up earlier and earlier on my own, like 15-20 min BEFORE my alarm. I get up and just chill in the bathroom so I dont wake anybody else up. Upside? Its some extra alone time!! What a wonderful place of peace the bathroom has become for me.

-side note real quick: Im making it sound like my companion is like the worst... but shes not! She is really super great. And I need her to help me. Its just the independent-no-more adjustment that I need to work through!

-SIEMPRE rice. We eat super well here at the CCM...but every meal has rice, some form of potatoes, and meat. They serve a lot of steamed then refridgerated veggies, but I just dump em all into my soup and its WONDERFUL! Getting dem veggies in while I can... who knows what Ill be eating in el campo. Probably rice. Siempre.

-SIEMPRE Serve. or love. or lovingly serve. Which is SO HARD FOR ME!!! I was just starting to get good at it... then they put you with someone you have to literally breathe next to 24'7 and sometimes it makes me want to climb over the CCM wall and run away. Butttttttt, as I have been working on trying to serve my companion, I have seen a lot of growth in our ability to teach with more unity and guidance from the spirit. So I guess its worth it, yeah?

If youre still reading, I applaud you. Missionary emails are long fa sho... so much stuff happenes that I dont even know what to say! But yep. Siempre PDAY.

Time still feels weird... some days are slow, and others are fast. 

Im always starving going into meals, then I feel like someone has to roll me out of the cafeteria. 

I miss my family (AKA YOU GUYS) a lot :( and I miss being an athlete. 

My district is close enough to family, and the latinos love it when I play fútbol!

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!! XOXOXOXO

HNA Simmons

PS.... I hurt my knee playing soccer. Not going home as of now, so no worries mom. Playing soccer, went up for a cross ball and landed slightly off. Lots of grinding and creeking in dat knee of mine.... Yeah it was bad. BUT I got a blessing, elevated it, and have a little bit of movement now :) Plus Im a pro at using crutches!
(Mom I didnt want to tell you cuz I dont want you to worry... but thought youd like to be in the loop. Im in good hands. Doctor looked at it and once the swelling goes down a little more he can take a better look.)

Brain Supermode!!!

**Note from Dustin: Brie really wants me to edit her emails before I post them because her Spanish keyboard is confusing, and as her mission goes on her English skills will decrease dramatically. However, I've decided not to edit them and to post them exactly as she wrote them. I think it makes it more authentic. You can see her frantic typing, as she only has one hour to write her emails to friends and family, plus I think it'll be fun to watch as her Spanish increasingly takes over her English.**

Hi from Lima, Peru!! I cant believe its been a week already... but at the same time this week has felt like a million billion years.

Weird feeling... the sense of time is pretty much nonexistent now haha.

After 35 pages of journal entries, 7 study manuals, 2 sets of scriptures, and 15hour workdays for ONE week in Peru... and I only have ONE hour to summarize everything??? Here we go, lets test my condensing skills haha.

Here are some FUN FACTS about Peru and what Im doing here.

Its pretty great... gunna be worth your time I promise.

 My first companion, Hermana Mather

What do you get when you travel 3200 miles in over 24hrs, jumping time zones and crossing the equator?

A really really tired, dazed missionary with a huge language barrier and culture shock waiting to smack her in the face.

Yay for new adventures :)

-my brain speaks two languages. Used to be English, now its transitioning to Spanish.. Neither of them fluently... which means I pretty much cant say anything.

Spanglish TO THE MAX.

I say words that Ive completely made up that are combinations of everything going on in my head haha.

-Its currently 81 degrees in Lima with a mildly high percent humidity. AKA im hot. kind of a baby... but im adjusting :) Our training center is right in the middle of the city, and it looks like a paradise! One of the few places in Lima with air conditioning, so when we are in class all day at least its a tad cooler.

-The training center (MTC=CCM: centro de capacitación de misional) has both a grass and sand volleyball court and a turf soccer field. fútbol actually.... and its the real deal here. Callin on my highschool soccer skills erryday when we get a break for Physical Activity… I am the only girl that plays with all the latino boys and they LOVE it!!! Haha. They call me el Champión Hermana.

-Granadias. look em up on google. Its a native fruit with an orange skin, but it peels like a pomegranate. Has little seeds like a pomegranate too... with a consistency of Jell-o and looks like brains. An acquired taste definitely, but when you eat them every meal you get used to it :)

-Mangoes. do you like them in the states? If not, you should. If yes, then all I have to say is: PERU!!!!! Oh my......SO GOOOOOOD! so sticky. so good. again, every meal. so good.

Everyone says the first week in the CCM is the hardest, and I can definitely see that. There is so much crammed into every single day... and even more information we are trying to take in and remmember while simultaneously adjusting to Latin culture, a different climate, and being with our missionary partner (companions, remember?) literally ALL. THE. TIME. Except the bathroom.... but they have to still come with you and wait outside! Lots of reasons for that... power in teaching with two people, safety reasons, etc. Im also pretty sure I need a companion SOLELY for the fact to learn how to be more caring about other people haha. Im so independent that being with someone and asking their opinoni and having to go wherever they want and vice versa is reaaaaaly hard to adjust to. But, its okay :)

Here's my feet after day two…. 

swollen and the color of my shoes rubbed onto them haha! 

no theyre not bruised, and theyre better now :)

LOVE YOU ALL! I am learning and growing SO MUCH!!!! To leave you with a fun feel-good thought, I made up this fun poem thing (not really a poem) about my favorite fruit here in the CCM:

missionary work and mangoes 

Making friends is easy when you care about them as Gods children

Awareness of others feelings helps you feel compassionate

Never give up on always trying to be better

Guidance from the Spirit is REAL. Never underestimate the power of God speaking to you.

Obedience strengthens you

Everyone needs to be loved

Someone needs YOUR message

District 109 January 28th-March 10th 2015 

love you all, thanks for the support and love!!!!

XOXO

HNA Simmons